The man who shared his jeans (oops ! genes) with me

THE MAN

WHO SHARED
HIS JEANS
(OOPS! ! GENES)

WITH ME



Bangalore………2004
He was only thirtysix years old.
He was Brandhead for LEVI’S—The Jeans people.
He was happy.
He had a small family_ his wife and a son barely one year old, born after eight years of marriage.
He had everything …a man could ask for. Everything …except Time on his side.
The day was Tuesday. The date was 21 Dec.
And he was having pain on his back.
Sometimes he would feel it in his abdomen. ‘Gas Problem’(Dyspepsia ), he thought.
But the pain would’nt go.
He moved around a bit…….but the pain also moved…he started feeling pain flitting around from one arm to another.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, asked Tulika to massage his back.
May be it might work.
It did’nt.
He collapsed suddenly on to the floor. Looked at her…a deep intense look , a look that was to be etched on to her memory for times to come.
She did’nt know what to do ?
Should she cry…?





Should she pick up the phone and call for help?
Should she resuscitate ?
She decided to resuscitate…attempted mouth to mouth resuscitation and chest compression.
Nothing seemed to work.
She looked at the bed…..their son had woken up…was looking at him , not able to comprehend what’s going on……
She rushed to the phone..called up her friend,opened the door, got back to resuscitation……
He could not be revived.
He was my brother_ Atul.
The wife is Tulika, and the son Arish.
The loss…..it seems is forever.
But then Death stops…life doesn’t.
Life of Tulika and Arish will go on…..Tulika at least had his memories…but what does a one year old kid remember ?
But he has to know what his Papa meant….meant as a person
Meant to him…
and last but not the least meant to me………………





-I-
SMILE…………27 Jan 2005


Dear Arish……..
I know you can’t read this today not for this matter tomorrow or day after…
I also know by the time you would be able to read this maybe another 8-10 years later…I don’t know whether I would be able to write what I feel today.
To begin with…..I would like to introduce you to
‘Papa”…not the word you must have heard so many times, but the man who meant this word to you.
What does he man today….? A feeling …a sense of love…a feeling that was born on 27 July 1968 at lucknow.
What I remember of that morning was Mr MALLIK, Dancing around , in the rains, celebrating his birth…..that was when I was entering my teens.
But that was decades back…..today what I feel is a sense of loss …loss of something valuable…because that’s what your Papa was all about…..values…be it the human values, which I feel proud to be associated with through him…values which you would feel proud of inheriting from him….values that his friends cherished…values that he epitomized in his organization , whether it was Raymonds or Levi’s.
Values that would bring smile on your face even when faced with adversities.
Perhaps ..that is what he would have wished to see everytime he would look at you…….
SMILE…..




So please smile, whenever you think of him , because I am sure that would make him feel happy …wherever he might be.
So make the world brighter with your smile …even if it be to a total stranger……………..
M,y thoughts take me to a summer evening at Thane about 04 years ago. Right in the middle of conversation he asked me “ tell me Mukul Bhaiya, did you smile at any stranger today…” then as I looked blank he completed…..”try doing it tomorrow…it will give you immense joy”.
I did it next day
And you bet , he was right.
Till today, even after his loss… every time I would see him in mydreams I would find him smiling. Everytime I would think of him I feel his smile all around like bright sunshine…
And as I remember his smile my thoughts gently push me back to so many decades ago when he was as small as you are today….
And guess what….?
What I see in your smile is the intense resemblance to the way he used to smile at your age ……
So smile today…!
Because that’s what your Papa meant for you…..






II
MIRACLE
Dear Arish,
I am sure by now you would have heard of a word called Miracle. Normally it is associated with Saints.
Though , my first encounter with Miracles started on a different track.
You see, when he was as small as you are today (Jan 05) or maybe a little older
We were in class x and preparing for our first Board exam, we meaning…me , your bua and her friends.
We would make chits writing probable questions, and would spread in front of him, he would pick up one and we would prepare that question.
What lends credence to the word Miracle , That I am tempted to use in this regard is the fact THAT IT WAS THAT VERY QUESTION , THAT WE WOULD FIND IN THE QUESTION PAPER ………!

But , like I said earlier, the word Miracle is associated with Saints……
And your Papa was not a saint , as we are used to recognizing…old men with flowing beard, and speaking of Vedanta….
No !…definitely not.
What he could prove was that one can be saintly, even while being a normal person….
That in itself would sound like a miracle.
And it was quite a sight as I remember so many kids coming to a toddler before their exams.
Not only the paper, he started predicting results as well.
I still remember kids, mainly your Bua’s friends coming to our house making chits of Pass/ Fail, and asking him to pick up, and I still remember Bua’s friend Kamlesh, crying out as he picked up the chit marked “Fail”. We tried to console her telling her ,he is only a child,but when she came back after collecting her results, she was still crying, because she had indeed Failed.
But then , like I said earlier about his smile, because often , after doing such things he would smile, or even goggle at times.
Sort of lends credence to the statement that even a smile can be a miracle.
So Smile ….!
Because , maybe when he would dream of a Miracle, in the later years of his life, he could have been dreaming of you….
And Miracles have a way of living with you.
So , next time you have an experience which you may find difficult to explain, think that he is around and smiling indulgently at you..
Because I am sure , he would always be around to smile and giggle at his Miracle …i.e you…!

SO , KEEP SMILING……………..

III
29 Jan 05

DO GOOD…….
Dear Arish
You must be wondering, how come I have not yet brought up the issue of his name. I know it is not possible to keep up the narrative in third person.
I
If you remember, in the previous communication , I did bring out the fact that he had a beautiful smile, and a person who would always smile and cause a lots of smiles to be generated around him…….
A person whose activities as a baby were nothing short of miracle ……
What CAN HE DO IN LIFE ?
The answer is ----The only ting he could do always …without fail, and relentlessly was to do Good!
Thinking in retrospect, I feel that is what God ordained him to do i.e Do Good!
Maybe that ‘s why He (GOD) prevailed on us to keep on telling him repeatedly to keep telling him to do good….
DO GOODDO……GOODDO….AND WE CALLED HIM “Guddoo”
The matter of fact is we called him Guddu(If my narrative makes you feel happy, and makes your lips stretch into a smile , do so, because as I mentioned earlier
Your smile is going to make him feel happy wherever he may be ,)….
And let me tell you once more ..he is never going to be far away from you……..
You might wonder …what was his childhood like ?
Well, maybe just like any other child’s. The only difference was that his siblings were too old for him to experience sibling jealousy . He used to be more of a toy for us. I do remember rushing back after school and play with him and he would giggle and smile n….giggle and smile . quite like the way you did in 2004-2005.
As he started walking….it was fun…he started playing games , whether it was Football, or Cricket. He was more excited with cricket…I still remember the joy in his eyes , when he got his first cricket set.
And then……..
The inevitable happened.
Guddu joined the school ..a small institution called Springdale and started his studies.
And then he started exhibiting his tendencies to go missing. One afternoon, when we came back from collegea little earlier, we encountered a worried mom……Guddu had not come back from school…we went around searching for him, here there ..everywhere, only to find him coming back after sometime.
On enquiry, he revealed that he had gone to see his friend ‘Gufran’….
Did he have it in him to reach out to his friends even at that stage….?
I wonder retrospectively.

Next time he went missing…only to come back later and telling us that he had gone to ascertain rates of ‘moongphali’(groundnut)
Retrospectively, or even in lighter vein ..Did it reflect his inherentinstinct for market survey…a basic input required for sales and marketing…something which was to be proved to be his forte…later in his life .

He went missing again.But this time he was a grown up and the date was 21 Dec 2004 .
And instead of his reaching out to his friends , it was his friends who were destined to reach out to him…….
But
I am quite sure, he would be back with us again giving us yet another explanation…maybe that he had gone out trying to find out where does one go after his life is over….!
Sorry! I digressed from the topic. We were on the subject of Guddu’s schooldays.
He went to market with your Dadi on a cycle rickshaw. As she paid the rickshaw walla , Guddu insisted on your dai to pay him more. Even as she said that she is paying what has been settled with him, guddu was’nt satisfied…no mummy, he his pulling the rickshaw…and deserves to be paid more.
Do Good !….seems to have been the motivating force…
So, the best way to remember him and pay tribute to him..and make him immortal is to keep doing good…!
I am sure you would keep doing it as you grow up.


As he grew up , I had to move out
It was 1974, and I moved to PUNE.
The first of the separations from him that was to become a recurring affair later in life.












IV
BROTHERS…….. 08 FEB 2005
Dear Arish
I could not write for few days…
Not that I did’nt want to write….
Not that I had forgotten. It is just that sometimes life leaves out some pages…blank…some blank spaces…some spaces that I try to fill up with memories of Guddu…your Papa and my kid brother.
You may wonder what it means to be a brother…..
It is something like waliking on a street, on a rainy day, without even getting a drop of water on you, and when you look up you find an umbrella over you, and as you follow the hand that holds the umbrella, your eyes catch a glimpse of a smiling face, weathering rain and the rainwater dripping all over him, someone for whom the joy of keeping you dry, surpasses the feeling being drenched himself…..
And with the passage of time, as the hand holding the umbrella grows old….the weatherbeaten face looks apprehensively at the overcast sky, and the dark clouds, he hears a chirpy voice call out….
“Bhaiya , …don’t worry about getting wet in the rains…I am holding the Sun in my hands…..’
As he looks under the umbrella, there is no one and as he follows the voice to distant lands, he can see the form of his little brother grown up now, smiling and beckoning him….
But now …the clouds have gone …strangely there is no Sun either. My hand still holds the umbrella, but there is no one under it. In the distance ..even the voice is muted, and there is no smile on the horizon……
Just a void………a little empty space…That was MY brother for me….As my brooding thoughts make my future sulk a bit..I again hear sombre voice…
HEY DAD!
You ….Guddu Chacha
Guddu Chacha…..Yasharth
..Yasharth……Arish…..
And I could feel the void getting filled up once again.
That is Brothers for you.
What I want you to know, Arish, is that though the hands may be old, face more weatherbeaten, rest assured ..you can walk out on any rainy day, and you will find that the umbrella is still there……because you are , what my kid brother always wanted to have………






V
INNOVATIONS…………09/02/05
1974
He was six years old.
His father was diagnosed to have heart problem. At a time when there was nothing like coronary bypass or angioplasty.
Those days…. Once you were diagnosed “Heart patient”, you were like on extra time in a game of soccer.
His brother was moving out to join Army….to become a Doctor.His sister , who took care of him as achild(when his mother would go to school), was getting married, and moving out.
He was a bit uncertain, about his future, one may call apprehensive.
But he was certain of one thing, that he had to achieve success. He had to make it big.
The year was 1974, the place was Lucknow.
And it was a confident tiny tot who walked into the ‘hallowed precincts of Mahanagar Boys’ high School. Hallowed , because his mother was reaching there, all of his brothers had studied there
And right from day one all his teachers were impressed and found a spsrkle of promise in him.
He kept on crossing one milestone after another as far as studies were concerned.
He found a friend in Sanjay, who was also his neighbour. They used to play all day long together, and yet they felt they had to communicate.
In those days there were no mobiles, landlines were far too uncommon…but Guddu would’nt be deterred by such statistics.
One fine day, he removed one brick from the wall separating the courtyard of their houses…put his face through the gap and yelled ouit…”Telephone….’
Sanjay came running to his side of wall and an instant Hotline had been established.
It is another story , that at a later date , when Guddu and Sanjay had moved out of Lucknow , this hotline was used by their respective mothers..!


INNOVATIONS NEED NOT BE THE PREROGATIVE OF GROWN UPS ALONE…….
And it was this innovative streak in him which would contribute to his future success.








VI
15 Feb 2005

DREAMING ….BIG DREAMS…..
Dear Arish,
“I wonder if you are sleeping at this moment. If sleeping, whether you are dreaming or not, and if you are dreaming, whether you’d remember your dreams tomorrow ?”
Why I am asking you this question is, because it was an inquisitive six year old Guddoo, who asked me this question. He asked me ‘ Bhaiya, did you dream sometimes that you will be an Army Officer, or a Doctor, or both ?
Before I could answer , he giggled and said, “ I got your answer in your smile……..if you dream of something and find it coming true…you get joy out of it….”
I had to agree with him., again through another flash of smile, and he laughed again..
I told him ‘ Yeah ! I do dream, when I am free I even dream of dreams…but then if you don’t dream how will you ever achieve it.?
“And what are your favourite dreams….?,” He enquired.
“ always dream big dreams…let them soar up to sky….”. It was an eighteen year old teenager in me trying to encourage his kid brother to dream big…
And did he dream big? You bet he did. Right from the day he took off, he launched himself into academics, he would think of achievements…of becoming big…..not satisfied with the laurels he earned, but always striving for more.
If doing Graduation he would not be satisfied with B.Sc. He had to do honours. Having achieved it , he must do MBA….having done that must crack IAS….
Dreams …and more dreams……
Sometimes , I wonder, if in your one year and two months of sharing his life, there was someway, you could have seen the dreams in his eyes, the dreams , he was still living in, or making his life come true to his dreams, or whatever his little eyes could dream of, for you……..
And I daresay, that whenever you have dreams for yourself, dream big……..
And so long as we are there , rest assured, no dream of yours can be too big, for your hands to hold……
Because, the lines in your hands are part of a big dream, seen by your Papa…, because , you are the loveliest of his dreams he ever dreamt of……
And found it coming true….
“ Are you happy now”…, it was a 47 year old man asking his brother, when he (brother)rang up to inform him, that he was blessed with a son.
“No..No..Don’t reply…. I know the answer in your smile. If you dream of something and find it coming true…you get joy…..’
He agreed with me, through another flash of smile, which I did’nt see, being thousands of kilometers away, but could feel the glow of the smile in my own heart……
And both of us laughed out heartily over the phone…
The day was 07 Oct 2005 and his dream was what he would later name Arish.



18 Feb 2005
VII
CRICKET : THE NATIONAL PASTIME

Dear Arish,
There is a problem as I write to you today…..
I wanted to narrate the story of a marvelous man……,A man , you are lucky to have for a father.
But , I had to move out of Lucknow , out of his life when he was only six years old….., and you may find some yawning gaps in the narrative.
Whenever I would come home during my summer/ winter breaks, I could spend time…with him….playing with him and like all Indians one game , both of us
Loved was Cricket. In todays world , when you open your eyes with the TV, you may find it difficult to comprehend how we used to follow the matches
Well, in those days it used to be through Radio Commentary, and at times, Guddu used to get exasperated, when he could,nt come to terms with the Cricket terms and field placements. Finally I had to take him to a test pitch,…the verandah of the house, and very soon we discovered that the door of hall was Short leg……The Pillar was the Mid on and hitting the tap in the garden was a glorious cover drive. Of course the only time I got caught on slips was when the door of the Drawing room door(our wicket) was open , and getting an outside edge of my bat, the ball moved into what should have been the second slip, but in this instance happened to be your Baba’s friend having his tea.
What followed was , I dare record as an unique event in cricketing history….the bowler and batsman running out of stadium(house, in this instance)
and second slip, your Baba’s friend shouting at them……….
Though, with time lots of cricketers of that time retired, not us,…..in fact the day I was getting engaged and my brother in law arrived with the paraphernalia, two of us were busy playing cricket………..
It continued even later, of course the venues would change…like in early 90’s, I suppose sometimes in 1994, he came down to Bagdogra , where I was then posted , and now he , a 26 Yr old was playing with yasharth, and Shefali, with the garage door being the wicket, neighbour’s verandah being the extra cover , two scooters parked in position of silly point and short leg respectively, and a neighbour’s car parked serving as long on boundary…..
Our neighbour’s children, curious spectators , watching from a distance and finding similarity to my form were intrigued, going and telling their mother…Mom, Saxena uncle has become much younger…..

The last game of cricket we played together was at the same old venue….The Mahanagar house
,when he brought you ,to Lucknow.
Only this time , we played in the lawn, and with every shot that would go intoflowerbeds, some plants would be damaged, and we would try to restore it the moment we would find your Dadi coming……….
But now, I am sure , the lawn , the flowerbeds, and the game of cricket , all miss him as much as I do…
And your Dadi…would definitely not mind him coming back and spoiling all the flowerbeds……


VIII
THE DREAM …………………………………..THAT IS NO MORE

Dear Arish,
…………….It was a new Mahanagar, that I was seeing…something like you see on an exploded view…The House at Mahanagar, was there, but magnified 3-4 times. The small passage between gate and verandah turned into a long driveway…..As I looked up , I could see the blue sky with fluffy white clouds floating freely……albeit lazily…..
I could feel a cool breeze ruffle my hairs, and as I looked down, I found myself mounted on a dark brown stallion with mane flowing wildly, with the breeze…
I felt two little hands come from behind and hold me….. As I looked back , I found Guddoo behind me , urging me on……
“Let’s go…, Mukul Bhaiya”
AS I nudged the horse, with the spur of my riding boots, the horse took off on the trot and cantered off….
The colony of Mahanagar, suddenly transformed into a vast stretch of road, with colourful meadows all around. As the horse galloped , cutting through the cold breeze, leaving tall trees behind, the silence broken only by screams of joy, and giggle of a delighted Guddoo urging me on…and on…and on, and everytime I would turn around to see if he was comfortable, he would smile and spontaneously we would break out into a hearty laugh……..
As the Gallops turned into a lazy trot, I could feel the verandah touch the stirrup.
As I jumped down….I thought I would help Guddoo get down, he smiled…moved his head sideways…”No Mukul Bhaiya…..I want to ride more……..’
Itry to convince him..’ No Guddo..it has been a long while..let’s relax for a while.’
He just would’nt get down, overruling all my arguments..
‘ Okay…Are you coming or not..’ He asks me for the last time.’
No. …I have a lot of things to do…’
But he just would’nt budge.
Finally he tells me…’ Okay. You take care of everything….’
As I look around , I could see him ride away on the horse…into the sky..
The Mahanagar house shrinking back to normal size…and As I Looked up I could find the fluffy white clouds metamorphosing in the form a horse…..
I rub my eyes in disbelief. As I open my eyes after rubbing my eyes percieve darkness all around.
I switch off the lights . Look at the watch…time is 0520 hrs.. The dream is no more..
And I have to atart on another routine day…

She was sitting in the house at mahanagar. There was a lot of hustle and bustle around .
Guddoo was going back ..last minute byes.
She knew , he was no more, but did’nt want to let him feel that we knew.
He looked happy…..but it was time to go.
Time to get into the car.I was driving, everyone wanted to be in the car…..Dada, Govind…..Govind trying to hide his tears by turning his face to another side…and then she got up with the sound of a callbell ringing away……..
It was 0730 hrs
She says she had been dreaming of his presence since 0530 hrs.
She is your Taijee (Veena) dreaming ogf Guddoo.
Coincidentally this was the time , when I woke out of my dreams,
Strange, but he had been with both of us in our dreams around same time….
A Dream ..that is no more…….